welcome to my silly life ...

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"People who live in the past are generally afraid to compete in the present."
-Sparky Anderson

"The trick is to realize that after giving your best, there's nothing more to give."
-Sparky Anderson

"I cannot get rid of the hurt from losing, but after the last out of every loss, I must accept that there will be a tomorrow. In fact, it's more than there'll be tomorrow, it's that I want there to be tomorrow. That's the big difference, I want tomorrow to come."
-Sparky Anderson

One day justice will come and find you
And I'll be right there in your memory to remind you
-"Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You?" by Kellie Pickler

Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps, praying the floor won't fall through again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You pain me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game,
But you changed the rules everyday
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight
Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I shouldn't known
Well, maybe it's just me and my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love, then take it away
And you'll at my name to your lost list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored
When they said run as fast as you can
... Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young to be played with?
Your dark twisted games when I loved you so
I should've known
You are an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry
Never impressed me by acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired, lifeless eyes
'Cause you've burnt them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks over
Your sad, empty town
-"Dear John" by Taylor Swift

The story starts when it was hot and summer
And I had it all, I had him right where I wanted him
She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause
She took him faster than you can say sabotage
I never saw it coming, I wouldn't have suspected it
I underestimated just who I was dealing with
She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum
She underestimated just who she was stealing from
She's not a saint, and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
Better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't make you many friends
She should keep in mind, she should keep in mind
There's nothing I do better than revenge, ha,
She lives her life like it's a party and she's on the list
She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it
I think her ever present frown is a little troubling,
She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme he name with things but
Sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know
Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go
Oh, they didn't teach you that in prep school, so it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity,
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him, but haven't you heard?
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him, but I always get the last word
-"Better Than Revenge" by Taylor Swift

We caught onto something, I hold onto the night
You looked me in the eye and told me you loved me
Were you kidding?
... And you flash back to when he said forever and always ...
So here's to everything, coming down to nothing
Here's to the silence that cuts me to the core
-"Forever and Always" by Taylor Swift

I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to come around
... 'Cause I'm not your princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone, someday
Who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rear-view mirror disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse,
Now it's too late for you and your white horse,
To catch me now
-"White Horse" by Taylor Swift

He is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
He says everything I need to hear,
And it's like I couldn't ask for better
He opens up my door and I get into his car
And he says, you look beautiful tonight
And I feel perfectly fine
But I've been screamin' and fightin'
And kissin' in the rain,
And it's 2 a.m. and I'm cursin' your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and comin' undone
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
He respects my space and never makes me wait
And he calls exactly when he says he will
He's close to my mother
Talks business with my father
He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable
... he can't see the smile I'm fakin'
And my heart's not breakin'
'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all
And you were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating,
Intoxicating, complicated
-"The Way I Loved You" by Taylor Swift

I took a chance, I took a shot
And you might think I'm bulletproof,
But I'm not
You took a swing, I took it hard
And down here from the ground,
I see who you are
... And here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me, why?
You could write a book on how
To ruin someone's perfect day
Well, I get so confused and frustrated
Forget what I'm trying to say, oh
... I take a step back, let you go
I told you I'm not bulletproof
Now, you know
-"Tell Me Why" by Taylor Swift

You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You, pickin' on the weaker man,
Well you can take me down,
With just one single blow,
But you don't know, what you don't know
Someday, I'll be living in a big old city,
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
-"Mean" by Taylor Swift

Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent
-"Innocent" by Taylor Swift

"Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead."
-Ben Franklin

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's all right
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I'm still around
-"Perfect" by Pink

i've been lucky. i'll be lucky again ...

"'What, there are no flowers in the fall?' she asked petulantly, already feeling herself slide into the slightly contrary attitude that Easy had always gotten off on. She didn't mean to - it just felt so ... natural. 'That's stupid.' Easy laughed. His dark blue eyes crinkled up at the edges and Callie could tell from his expression that he wanted to kiss her, the way he had done a thousand times - which broke her heart. Yes, she'd been hoping with every ounce of her being that he would realize how stupid he had been and come running back to her, throwing himself at her feet and begging for forgiveness. She missed him. She missed his deep laugh ... [and] the way he raised one eyebrow slightly whenever he thought she was bullshitting him about something."
-from the It Girl: Unforgettable (Book 4) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"Good things don't always come to those who wait. Really, who has the patience?"
-from the It Girl: Unforgettable (Book 4) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"'Don't you find it a little strange that you went from Callie to, like, the anti-Callie?' Easy tried to think about why that could be ... Had he used Jenny as a way out of his relationship with Callie because Callie tried to push him too far? Because he wasn't ready to say 'I love you'? ... 'That's, like, the classic definition of 'on the rebound,' isn't it?' Brandon continued, taking three quick puffs of his cigar and trying to exhale them into smoke rings the way tough guys always do in the movies. 'As much as I hate to say it, there was something about you and Callie that just ... made sense.'"
-from the It Girl: Unforgettable (Book 4) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"'I mean, you have to be a little sensitive, of course, because there are a lot of people involved.' She shrugged her petite shoulders. 'But if you're in love ... that's out of your control, right? We don't get to pick the people we fall in love with, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, is it?'"
-from the It Girl: Unforgettable (Book 4) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"There's no girlfriend like an ex-girlfriend."
-from the It Girl: Unforgettable (Book 4) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"I've been lucky. I'll be lucky again."
-Bette Davis

"Was her whole life going to be like this now, avoiding certain songs or music that reminded her of her mistakes? ... She'd be a huge, lumbering mass of musical baggage."
-from the It Girl: Lucky (Book 5) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"Don't you know hat it feels like to like someone so much that nothing else matters?"
-from the It Girl: Lucky (Book 5) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"'Can't you see how much I-' Easy couldn't finish the sentence. IT hurt to be in love with someone he wanted to hate. 'What?' Callie snapped. 'Can't I see what?' 'Quit torturing me,' Easy pleaded angrily. ... 'I'm not doing anything!' Callie cried out. 'You just don't get it, do you?' Easy turned on her, feeling the dam holding back the anger inside him break completely. 'You're a bitch, Callie. A spoiled little bitch, and there's nothing I can do to change that.'"
-from the It Girl: Tempted (Book 6) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"It was easy to think you loved someone - but after they hurt you, intentionally or not, and you could still take them back, that was something much deeper."
-from the It Girl: Tempted (Book 6) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"Apparently, some secrets were better when shared."
-from the It Girl: Tempted (Book 6) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"'It's like, why do things the normal way, right? ... My friends call me a reflexive contrarian, but that's just them being afraid, too chicken to speak out against anything. They just swallow everything like damn goldfish. ... So I can't help it - I feel like if everyone does something one way, I have to do it another way ... I'm always disagreeing with people - starting fights, being a general pain in the ass."
-from the It Girl: Tempted (Book 6) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"Ever since they'd started dating, she got the crazy butterflies whenever she thought about him, or saw him, or kissed him. It was an addiction, one she hadn't been willing to let go of, even when he dumped her for Jenny."
-from the It Girl: Tempted (Book 6) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."
-Kurt Vonnegut

"Callie was too cold to feel embarrassment or shame - she only felt stupid for doing such terrible things to people who cared about her. They didn't deserve to be treated as she'd treated them. Jenny - even if she had started dating Easy, it hadn't been entirely her fault. Callie was the one who'd chased him away in the first place."
-from the It Girl: Tempted (Book 6) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"She really wanted him to remember the good times. Their first kiss in the rare books library ... Snow ball fights out on the quad, when Easy would tackle her ... A sob worked its way up from her bottom of her empty stomach, throbbing in her chest. It mocked her for believing that she might ever be able to get over Easy. He was the love of her short, sorrowful life. The sob erupted in her throat and she wailed into the wind, straining her vocal cords, the image of complete sadness and longing, her heart full of poetry for What Might've Been and What Would Never Be."
-from the It Girl: Tempted (Book 6) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"He loved Callie. He knew that now. He remembered something he'd overheard one of those corny late-night preachers saying as he flipped through channels one summer when he was home in Lexington: Forgiveness is a present you give yourself. It started that way, sure. He'd felt the relief of letting go of all the grudges he'd held against Callie and all that Callie had done. But when he saw her face, he knew how sorry she was about the whole thing. She was a good person. He might be the only one at Waverly her knew it - God knew sometimes Callie didn't do anything to help her case - but he knew it."
-from the It Girl: Tempted (Book 6) by Cecily vonZiegesar

"Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches."
-Andy Warhol

"I wanted to say say I'm sorry to you because I know you probably think I'm the most evil person in the world, but I'm really not. ... I was just jealous ... And I completely regret it now. I can't even think about it without being disgusted with how I behaved. I'm really not a bad person."
-from the It Girl: Infamous (Book 7) by Cecily vonZiegesar

Have you ever fed a lover
With just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown
A fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said
I just don't care
It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning
And the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?
Have you ever hated yourself
For staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting
For the ring to prove you're not alone ...
It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breath before the kiss
And the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way? ...
Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight?
-"Glitter in the Air" by Pink

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep
Like there's no sunrise, like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe.
But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in
And now I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
After everything we've been through
I miss everything about you
I see your blue eyes
Every time I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to, when I'm not around you
It's like I'm not with me
But I never told you
What I should've said
No, I never told you
I just held it in
-"I Never Told You" by Colbie Caillat